I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
