I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
