He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
