and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
