Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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