Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Randomize
