I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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