i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize