ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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