He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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