just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
