Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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