I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
