Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That's how pantless uber rides happen
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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