i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
