if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
