got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
