i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
