hell yes lets make some ravioli
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
smell my finger.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
