hell yes lets make some ravioli
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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