Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Alive.
So much puke
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
