nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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