Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
