do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
