I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
