Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She announced her abortion via fbk
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Randomize
