On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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