Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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