mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
