Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
