so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
