We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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