yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize