I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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