My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
