would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
