he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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