i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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