were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
