I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Randomize
