Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize