Sry I called you an 8
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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