everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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