Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
