is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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