I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize