So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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