he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
This house was built for laser tag.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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