I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
