Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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