Swine flu. Run for my life!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
