Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
