I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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