Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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