i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
