I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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