It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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