Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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