she woke up with a sticky ear
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
