My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
