I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
