new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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