My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I came so hard my ears popped.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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