I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
