no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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