i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
