If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
