she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Four minutes until I can fart!
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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