The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize