hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
