Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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