I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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