I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
