I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I think I am morally bankrupt
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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