I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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