u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm going to jail i love you
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
