Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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