I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just high enough for therapy.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
