The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Randomize
